July 26th, 2009

Hello again, it's been about a week since I last wrote and it has been a very busy one. A brief overview of the projects I undertook at the Embassy this week is in order.On Thursday, July 23rd, 120 Indian students who were registered at Canadian colleges and universities in the fall were invited to a pre-departure orientation at the High Commission. I was told to work on two projects for this event. One was a powerpoint presentation about student life and what foreigns tudents should expect of campus culture. I then presented in front of the attending students and answered questions they had afterwards. I also was told to design the feedback form of the orientation and then tabulate the results/opinions into a word document the next day. After the presentation, some eager students, many going to York, made a beeline towards me hoping to either get a personal anecdote about what to expect at York, advice on how to adjust to life in Toronto, and recognition for getting into the Holy Schulich School of Business (to them it's the Crown Jewel in their post-secondary education, to me, its just a building blocking the view from my doorstep). I also produced a quiz on Canadian innovations in the science and technology sector and the finished copy of a Bhutan-Canada relations four-page factsheet, which I've spent a couple weeks on and has been very challenging. It will be used by the High Commisioner during his trip to Bhutan in two weeks.

On to the trip! This past Sunday, July 26th, I travelled to Agra, the home ofthe Taj Mahal and the worst place for a tourist in all of India. Well, the worst for a naive tourist, but quite the laugh/experience for me, as I have come to get enjoyment from messing with smooth talking businessmen and touts. I think it's my outlet to the frustration from many people in this country wanting to rip me off and lead me to believe they want to be myb est friend, as if telling me I have beautiful white skin won't lead me to the conclusion that by beautiful white skin they mean beautiful, plump, white wallet. Which is far from the truth, I am a struggling student afterall. Us Canadians here have a tendency to look at India cynically, but at least our sense of humour keeps us sane.

Stephen and I arrived in Agra at 830 Sunday morning after taking a 615AM train from Delhi. We walked out of the train station and I told Stephen to keep walking no matter what anyone offered, because the first few swarms of taxidrivers and tour guides were going to be the most malicious. I weaved through the rows of tuktuks and taxis, going nowhere really, when a man chased me down and waved a pamphlet with prices in my face, to which I politely told him to go away. He chased me, and continued yelling the price, lowering it as I ignored him longer. Finally, he said 400 roupees for four, five, six, hell, as many hours as I wanted. (This is about CAN$10) I turned to him, he smiled, I asked 'AC?' He nodded. We had a deal. Usually, taxis for a day in Agra run for 1600 roupees, so I felt I had gotten the best of it. I knew not to believe I ever got the best out of a haggler, but really, how could this go wrong? ...

So, we ask to make a beeline to the Taj, we wanted to get there before the swarm of tourists. We flashed our diplomatic cards, and instead of paying 750IR for entrance, we paid the locals price: 20IR (50 cents instead of $19). We walked up to the Taj and it's really everything and more that people describe it as. It looked like a mirage, was literally completely symmetrical, and even the four outside pillars were designed to lean ever so slightly outwards so that in case an earthquake ever struck the city, the pillars would fall outwards instead ofonto the main centrepiece. It was a beautifully clear blue sky and I took many pictures. We couldn't take pictures inside, but I assure you it was a work of art. We planned to return that evening for another 50 cents to catch the sunset, and so we went back to the taxi.

We told the tour guide who jumped into the taxi with the driver that we wantedt o go see Fatehpur Sikri, a UNESCO World Heritage monument 45 minutes away from Agra. He told us no, it would cost us 1800 roupees and the gas it would take to get there. Hey now, I said. You told us 400 roupees for as many hours as we wanted, you didn't say anything about where you'd go. After a wave of the hand, he reassured us he would take us to the absolute best places in Agra. We grudgingly accepted, knowing we couldn't win. I asked him to take us to a South Indian restaurant. He found one in a hotel, and I ate South Indian food while Stephen ate his packed lunch (he dipped a boiled egg into pepper from the restaurant... the waiters stared, for good reason, they would have done the same in Canada lol). We ate and left, excited for the 'best places in Agra' promised to us. Silly tourist.

It turns out the best places to go in Agra where all ridiculously overpriced tourist shops that pay 5% commission for tour guides to bring their customerst here. Walking into a store that sells exclusively marble furniture inlayed with semi-precious stones and being the only customer there reeked of pressure, and I got a chuckle out of the absurdity that they thought I could afford anything. After telling the store owner I was a struggling student, I asked him with a straight face if he accepted food stamps for payment of a marble chessboard. It was promptly made clear that they in fact, do not accept such forms of payment and that it was time for me to go.

We got out to the taxi and I asked the tour guide what the hell he thought he was doing. He explained these were Agra's hotspots. I told him he was full of it and that we didn't want to do his stupid little sales tour. He said fine, he would now take us to a place where we could listen to music and relax. It sounded pretty good, so we went. So we step into a shop that sells exclusively instruments, and we are greeted by a terse storeowner. He tells us to sit on a couch facing two grim musicians, one with a sitar, the other with some form of percussion instrument. The two of them play, eying their tip jar, and stop after a minute. The owner gives us his sales pitch, and we sit there in awkward silence for about 5 minutes as he intermittedly asks us questions, which led to an exchange that almost made me spit out my 'complimentary' tea from holding back a laugh.

Store owner: Which one do you like?
Stephen: I like this one, I collect instruments from around the world, do youhave it in black?
S.O: yes, I'll go get it for you.
Stephen: How much?
S.O: 28,000R.
Stephen: Ohh.. I have to ask my mom before I can make a purchase like that.
S.O: Is she here now?
Stephen: No, she's at home in Delhi. (trying to get out of it)
S.O: Well you can call her then.
Stephen (thinking quickly and ever so smooth...): Uhhh, I don't know her number.
S.O: You don't know your own phone number?
Stephen: ....No. (Eric sitting next to him thinking in his head AAAAAHAHAHA)
More awkward silence. Well........ I think it's time we head out. lol.

We continued this process, going to 4 or so more shops, telling the cab driver and tour guide each time how stupid this whole process was and that we werent going to buy overpriced marble elephants or string-instruments. He kept telling me to remember to give him a big tip. On the way back from one of the stores, Stephen and I walked alone to the car and saw the two men weren't there. I checked the doors, and they were unlocked. Our bags, with our train tickets, money, cameras, everything we had, were left sitting in the unlocked car. I was pissed. The men came back and I asked them what the hell they were thinking leaving the car unlocked, I had told them specifically to lock it. The tour guide yelled at the driver in Hindi, I told the tour guide it was his fault, and he told us he was leaving to go home since it was 4 o'clock. Oh, and don't forget to tip. At this point I really didn't think he deserved anything, but thought I'd give him 100R and see what happened. We get out of the car, Stephen goes to hand him the 100R bill, and he just stared at it. 5 seconds of an outreached bill turned into Stephen saying fine, and walking away with me. The tour guide yells at me, wanting to know where my tip was. I said it was half of Stephen's and that he barely deserved it for taking us to his shops and for being reckless with our bags, and we kept walking away. He jogged up behind me, and punched me square in the back. I turned around, shocked I had been struck by a dishevelled man that barely weighed triple digits , and just stared at him. He grabbed the 100R from Stephen and walked back to the car, and so did we. We were going to take our bags with us, we knew he would just steal them if we left them with the taxi driver.

We went to Agra Fort, which is similar to the Red Fort in Delhi, except there is a view of the Taj Mahal from its roof. We then got a drive over to the Taj Mahal at night, and watched the sun set beautifully behind it. I took lots of pictures with the sunset and the moon, I will be adding them on facebook if anyone is interested. We then had to catch our train, so we found our taxi, got in, and asked to go to the station. We got there, handed the man 580 (180 tip) and said thanks. He got out, looked at it like it was used toilet paper, and his boss came over to see what he was hollering about. His boss was the guy who had originally approachedme with the 400R 'deal', and asked me what the hell I was thinking, giving 580 for 12 hours of service. At this point, I had no patience left and went on a rant.
"Listen buddy, I paid for his gas twice, his parking three times, got taken around to his high-pressure commissioned stores, got punched in the back, didn't get taken where I wanted to go, and you told me specifically I had 400Rf or as long as I wanted, so really, screw off".
Him: "But sir, 400R for 12 hours, you must be mad. You must pay 1400R".
We argued for 5 minutes, I started yelling and making a scene and he really didn't want that. Eventually we left on those terms, and got on the train safely. Another exciting day-trip, and hopefully you enjoyed reading this as much as I did experiencing it.
One last thing. If you ever visit Agra, just remember... the Taj Mahal is beautiful, but the tour guides hit like sissies.